September 2008 – Noise Ave.

Driving Into The Sun

On the morning of Sep 23rd, I left Redlands, CA for Dallas, TX. Stopped overnight in Albuquerque, NM.

Leaving was hard on many levels. I was leaving with a heavy heart. Leaving with the sense of unaccomplishment. I had meant to do so many things in California and I had gotten almost none of those done. I had gotten stuck in a weird rut and not been able to break free of it. Efforts of renting out a new place were not successful since the price per apartment is so high in Cali. In Santa Monica or Los Angeles area it is much more expensive than Redlands. So moving was not gonna happen. Didn’t get to find a band and play. Kept focusing on the wrong things. Had met a new personal low. Feeling rejected by family really does wonders. This was definitely not the plan but it had become the experience.

On my way out I was playing Unbreakable by Fireflight. Every song meant so much at that point. They all brought hope and feeling of everthing being under God’s control.

As the journey kept moving on, as I kept on driving on, I started feeling better. After all, this is going to be an experience that will hopefully teach me lessons. How to deal with similar situations in the future. How to deal with friends and family. How to have correct expectations. How to not get stuck in a rut while running from one!

Towards the end of the journey, I was so glad to be in Texas. As I entered Texas, the warm sun, the friendly faces, the familiar highway design all invited me home with open arms. It was an amazing feeling to feel like myself again.

Left California!

So after a month of some boring and mostly depressing time, it happened Sunday night that things got to a point where I contemplated leaving at that very second. Well, I won’t go into details of what happened. Suffice it to say that I sort of wore out my welcome without wearing it out with the actual host. Weird situation to be in, really!

So decided to leave on Tuesday. This would give my uncle and aunt time to adjust to the thought of me leaving. But I didn’t tell them until Monday. In case, there wasn’t a hotel available or so.

I had two options, 1) Go to Vegas for 4 nights and leave Sat. morning for Dallas, or 2) Take two days off and just drive straight to Dallas.

Option 1 would have given the oppurtunity to work from the Hotel and save days. But would have cost money. Option 2 would use two vacation days and wouldn’t involve Vegas. In the end, I decided to just drive home. I’d be miserable in Vegas. I wouldn’t go out, or watch any shows, or gamble, etc. I wouldn’t wanna do any of those by myself. Yeah yeah, one is such a lonely number and all that blah blah blah.

So left Tuesday morning for Albuquerque, NM. 10 hours and 48 minutse of drive. Took 12 hours including all stops and such. Left at 6:30am and arrived about 6:30pm. used free points to stay at the Marriott, and left in the morning at 7am. Got to Dallas at 6:30pm. Drove a little faster this time. This leg was supposed to be 10 hours and 40 minutes…. Left Tuesday 23rd, Sep. and arrived on 24th, Sep. by God’s grace.

Last few weeks have been some of the weirdest times. It was really depressing. However, as soon as I entered Texas, I started feeling better. Even tho, it was in Amarillo that I made my first stop in Texas, and it’s about 5 hours away from Dallas, it felt almost like home. The Texas highway design and the warm sun and welcoming people just all felt so much like home.

It’s great to be back here. Thank God.

Forever

Forever

Sometimes I feel so cold
Like I’m waiting around all by myself
Loneliness gets so old
I’m in the lost and found sitting on the shelf
Been stuck for way too long
But I hear Your voice
You’re who I’m counting on

Oh, tell me You’re here
That You will watch over me forever
Oh, take hold of my heart
Show me You’ll love me forever

I know that You can tell
When I start to let my hope fade away
I need to catch myself
Open my ears to hear You calling my name
Been fighting way too long
But I hear Your voice
You had me all along

When I’m starting to drown
You jump in to save me
When my world’s upside down
Your hands, they shake me and wake me

– Fireflight

Note: Lyrics posted without permission. If you’re the copyright (or any other kind of legal right) holder, please notify via email or leave a comment. The lyrics will be removed.

Well It’s Been a While

It’s been a while since I posted. Been a long time since I got a chance to sit down and be alone with my thoughts to figure out what to do next. I was planning on driving back this weekend. But due to my cousin having a wreck, that’s not going to be possible. For now I have decided to stay another week or two.

In the meantime, we’ll try to sort out other matters like insurance, wrecker company, police department, banks, bills, etc.

Pictures From The Santa Monica Trip – Part 3

Long post alert!

1 - Street	2 - City Hall
3 - Apartments	4 - Beautiful!
5 - The Tallest Building	6 - For Rent
7 - Hotel	8 - Santa Monica Blvd
9 - New Work

Notes:

1 – Street next to the beach. Imagine how much people in these apartments pay in rent.

2 – Santa Monica City Hall.

3 – Really nice looking apartments. 10 minutes from the beach.

4 – That’s a really beautiful building.

5 – It’s not “The Tallest Building”. It’s the tallest I’ve seen in Cali.

6 – Sign says For Rent. No idea how much and don’t wannt know. It’s not going to be affordable.

7 – This hotel is across the street from the beach. Walk right out of the hotel and just run free on the beach.

8 – Obligatory shot of Santa Monica Blvd.

9 – New work.

Note: More pictures will be added later.

Pictures From The Santa Monica Trip – Part 2

Part 2 of the Santa Monica Pictures.

1 - PD	2 - Civic Center
3 - Beach Road	4 - Nice Day
5 - Parking Area	6 - The Beach!
7 - Beach	8 - More Beach
9 - Beach 2	10 - Still Beach

1 – The Police Dept.

2 – The Civic Center.

6 – Finally! The Beach! This was after 13+ years that I went to a beach. I brought back so many memories. Memories from days gone by when we would go to the beach and just be kids.

8 – Couldn’t go on the teach ‘coz some people I was with weren’t ready to go on the sand. Didn’t have their slipper/sandles/beach-footwear. The dress shoes would have been ruined.

9 – Seemed so relaxing just watching others obey Frankie.

Pictures From The Santa Monica Trip – Part 1

So here’s the promised pictures from the Santa Monica Trip. These are actually leading up to Santa Monica. The rest follow in later posts.

$1 - Headin\' Out$ 1 - Headin' Out	2 - I-10
3 - Clean Highways	4 - Busy Saturday
5 - 3 Mill!	6 - Nearing Santa Monica
7 - Nice Bridge	8 - Santa Monica
9 - More Santa Monica	10 - They Have Artists

Notes:

1 – This is just heading out of here.

2 – I-10. The least advance highway in the road.

3 – The highways seems to be just messy and unclean. Coming from Texas, this seems like a trash yard.

4 – Lot of people go to LA on the weekends. Many people from the Redlands are go to the beach every weekend.

5 – 3 million people! Laura, you think that’s a big enough town to move to (since you were saying to move to a bigger town)?

6 – The picture doesn’t do this view justice.

7 – This view looked really beautiful in the tree shades and in the nice sun.

8 – Heading to SM.

9 – Seems like any old cali town.

10 – Graffiti is everywhere. It’s almost as if they forgot to educate this whole last generation.

It’s the DEGAS Tank!

So WTH is a degas tank? They said it holds coolant for the engine when the engine is turned off. And that where the engine uses it from when it needs coolant…. Sure, whatever to the explanation.

I have a question!

“Could I install a horse under the hood?” I just needs pulling. The car is getting so complicated! What happend to the good old days of 20 wires and a motor. Now, it’s a computer this and computer that!

Anyhoo, the oil change is done. Check! The tire rotation done. Check! The clutch issue while releasing is kind of still noticeable. Less now but still. Maybe I’ve adjusted to the crappy road of Kaliforney by now. Or maybe the issue was with an oil change. Although, it makes me cringe to think something was wrong due to an overdue oil change. I only went 3500 miles (but with a long trip on the same oil). I’ve never gone over 3000 much before. maybe less than 100 miles. Normally around 2900, I’m there to get things worked on.

One other possibility is the CV joints. Maybe one of teh boots cracked and leaked enough grease…. This could be visually inspected as well. Next time, I’m at the dealership, I will ask them to run a check. For now, its seems it’s fine to punch the car, push it, drive long drives, etc.

Your Water Pump is Going Bad

“Your water pump is leaking!,” he said interrupting my thoughts as I intently listened to Obama and McCain on the TV saying the other was a liar. Yeah, right! Politicians? Liars? Can’t be!

But I digress. 28K miles on a 2 year old mustang. It was just there for an oil change and tire rotation. But they do more inspection as well. It’s “The Works” package, after all! Back to the story, first there was an issue with the transmission 8K miles into it or so. Don’t remeber the exact mileage.

Anyway, it’s under warranty. They’ll fix it for free. But a thought occurred to me last night. That’s right folks, I do all the important thinking at night. Anyhoo, the thought was that maybe they see people with cars under warranty and tell them to replace stuff. What does the owner care! They are happy it will be fixed for free. And maybe the dealership tags on other things and presents back to Ford to get more money. At home, I know the sales people and feel better trusting them. Out here, on the road any random dealership sounds like a vulture. So I drove to another dealership to have them do the water pump test (for free since it’s under warranty). They’d take 3-4 hours just to run the test and didn’t have a shuttle to drive customers back. Neither a loaner. Only a Hertz desk. Sure it’s under warranty but you don’t really wanna get things done for free!

Drove back to the first dealer and gave the car to them for replacing the water pump. Even if it does need replacing better to replace it now than wait. “The motor could blow,” he said, if it wasn’t fixed. Ok Mr., sign me up for this water pump change program!

Falling Inside The Black

Falling Inside The Black

Tonight I’m so alone
This sorrow takes ahold
Don’t leave me here so cold
Never want to be so cold

Your touch used to be so kind
Your touch used to give me life
I’ve waited all this time, I’ve wasted so much time

Don’t leave me alone
Cause I barely see at all
Don’t leave me alone, I’m

[Chorus:]
falling in the black
Slipping through the cracks
Falling to the depths can I ever go back

Dreaming of the way it used to be
Can you hear me
falling in the black
Slipping through the cracks
Falling to the depths can I ever go back
Falling inside the black
Falling inside falling inside the black

You were my source of strength
I’ve traded everything
That I love for this one thing
Stranded in the offering
Don’t leave me here like this
Can’t hear me scream from the abyss
And now I wish for you my desire

Don’t leave me alone cause I barely see at all

— Skillet

Note: Lyrics posted without permission. If you’re the copyright (or any other kind of legal right) holder, please notify via email or leave a comment. The lyrics will be removed.